SC again

We ran away from home this week...okay, we weren't running from our home so much as we were running away from the heat inside our home.  Wednesday we both started a three-week stretch of vacation time so we packed the dogs and took off to Santa Cruz.  Travis was able to go free-diving with one of his closest friends and I was able to go for a few runs along West Cliff Drive.  As you can see, the dogs were fine with us dragging them along to the cool coastal air.  

Food

Something happened on Saturday that I haven't been able to get out of my  head, so I thought I'd throw it out to Blogland and see if anyone else has had similar experiences...

Travis and I had just finished grocery shopping at a large chain store here in Turlock and we were loading the groceries into my car when an older lady stepped out from behind the cart return thing and said, "Can you help me?"  She was clean, hair brushed, wearing clean clothes, and I think she was a little mentally challenged or delayed.  Despite all this, my first thought was that she was going to ask for money because there have been pan handlers out front this particular store many times in the past.  With a slight hesitation, I said, "What do you need?"  She responded, very politely, "Do you have some food I can have?"  I turned to my car, packed full of our carefully budgeted groceries and started digging for something that we could spare.  I ended up giving her one yogurt container and a healthy meal-replacement/snack bar.  She was so grateful she said thank you multiple times and then sat down and scarfed up the food.  As we drove away I felt so guilty that we didn't give her more, but I was unsettled at how the whole thing took place. I'm not sure why, and I still can't put it into words, but I felt guilty and sad more than I felt happy that I could help someone else.  Why is that?

I have a personal policy against giving money out, but I have given food to people on quite a few occasions.  Travis and I discussed how much more willing we both are to give something substantial to someone in need than to give money.  I'd rather give this lady a fiber-rich bar and  calcium-rich yogurt than give her the equivalent in money that she might take to buy crappy fast food that will leave her hungrier than she was to begin with.

I still feel guilty that I didn't give her more food.  We don't have a lot of money, and we budget very carefully, and even when I was giving her what we could I was calculating what that removes from our existence.  That negated any good will that I had felt about my actions.  Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter or similar stories?

Travis and I went to school in Santa Cruz where there are always people asking for free handouts.  Santa Cruz is really supportive of their homeless population and there are MANY different organizations the dispense aide and vocational support.  I was completely desensitized to people asking for help when I routinely saw them taking the money they received into Starbucks for a mocha or into the bar for a draft beer instead of into the grocery store for food.  I've been known to give much of my own lunch away to people who ask specifically for food.  I've given clothes from my car- not from my to-donate-to-Goodwill-because-I don't-wear-it-anymore pile,  but from the it might be cold so I'll through in another layer pile in my car.  I've given people rides to the bus station, and other things like that, but I just can't hand over money.  I want to help people help themselves, not help them perpetuate their current state of being, and I guess the only way I feel I can do that is if I am aware of exactly what my actions are doing for the other individual.

Travis spent most of his youth in Santa Cruz, so he's even more hardened than I am, but he said his actions were changed one night when he was 18 or 19.  He was running into the grocery store for something silly and there was a young man outside the store asking people if they could buy him diapers or give him money to buy diapers.  Travis went inside and bought the diapers for him because he didn't think any child should have to suffer for the actions of the parent; who knows what the story was for the parent, but Travis could help a child, even if it was just for a couple of days.

I have no idea what this lady's story was, all I know is she ate that food so quickly she probably hadn't eaten for a while.  We didn't do a lot for her, but we did a little something and she's still in my thoughts.  

New Beginnings

I started my new job today.  I am now an Autism Specialist for Stanislaus County Office of Education.  I still prefer to go by the title behavior analyst or behaviorist, but my official title is AS for SCOE.  The coworkers I met today all seem to be approachable and supportive.  I've been given lots of material to research and study to prepare myself for the start of the school year in August.  Surprisingly, I miss research!  I never thought I'd say that after completing my thesis, but I really do miss learning new things.  I'm so excited to start this position- and apparently, the kids are excited that I've started the position too.  In the first classroom I visited I had a darling little guy of about four come up to me and ask, "What's your name?" To which I replied,

"My name is Margo, what's yours?"  He responded with, "XXXX.  I love you."  He proceeded to hug my leg and then was lead away to complete his next task.  How do you beat that for a first day one the job?  It was just what I needed to feel welcome.  

Wild Weather Weekend

Travis and I went to Santa Cruz this weekend and experienced the craziest range of weather.  Friday the high was 100.  It cooled all the way down to 82 during the night (felt like we had never left Turlock!)  Saturday we woke up much too early (5am) and decided to take the dogs on a sunrise walk.  The moon was still out and bright as can be. It was beautiful!  There was a slight layer of smoke from the Watsonville fires, but the sunrise was gorgeous.  The dogs loved it, of course.The few fluffy clouds soon turned to heavy, dark clouds that produced a spectacular display of lightning and thunder.  By evening, it cooled off so much that we had to put sweaters on.  Sunday morning we woke up to "normal" Santa Cruz weather- cool and breezy. We enjoyed our first weekend in a looooong time without an itinerary, and we're already planning our next getaway.

To go or not to go...

My ten year high school reunion is this summer and I cannot decide if I should go or not.  Usually, the shear fact that I can't decide would prompt me to say no, I don't want X badly enough to get it.  But two of my closest friends in high school have confirmed that that they are attending the reunion.  Any thoughts from fellow bloggers on whether I go or not?

Random Facts

I've been tagged by my long-time friend, Sarah to share 50 random facts about myself and/or my husband.  I know most of you have been longing for this information... enjoy :)

1. I've been fascinated by old cars for as long as I can remember.  My grandfather has a '26 Model T, and a '32 Model A; my dad had a "Judge," and I had a '63 AMC Rambler.

2. I bought the Rambler from a boy that I was "seeing."  Turns out I was more interested in the car than in him.

3.  Travis has his BA in math, MA in education, and has just completed a credential in administration.  He can now be a principal if he so chooses.

4.  I have a BA in Developmental Psychology, MS in Behavior Analysis, Psychology, and I am accruing hours for my BCBA (Board Certification in Behavior Analysis) and my MFT (license in Marriage and Family Therapy).  I can now be a behaviorist, a therapist, or both.

5.  I have just accepted said job as a behaviorist for SCOE.

6. I disliked dogs until I met Travis' dog, Hannah.  Now I love dogs.

7.  Travis disliked cats until I brought home Elvis (who died at a young age).  Now he's open to cats.

8.  Travis can't handle having warm water on his face.  I, on the other hand, stand under the shower head with the water turned as hot as I can possibly stand it.

9.  Travis' car history includes- in chronological order of ownership: '83 VW Rabbit, Honda Scooter, Chevette, VW Bus, PINTO WAGON ("That was the best!"), Ford LTD Station Wagon (which, after being sold, was used as a getaway car for some bank robbery while Travis was in YWAM Hawaii), 4-cylinder Dodge pick-up,  '74 VW Bug, '84 Ford Ranger, '80 Volvo Station Wagon, '84 Nissan Pathfinder (aka- Liki Liki), '94 Jeep Cherokee, '94 GMC Sonoma, '98 GMC Sierra.

10.  My car history includes- '63 AMC Rambler, '96 GMC Jimmy, Liki Liki, '94 Jeep Cherokee.  Travis wins.  But he does have 5 years on me.

11. Travis writes beautiful poetry.

12. I can't spell to save my life (long live spell check!!!)

13.  Travis is tone deaf. I'm not, and we both sing at top volume when we're in the car together.  It's hysterical.

14. Travis was born on a farm in Wisconsin, where his parents raised sled dogs and chickens, while his mom was a midwife and his dad was a trapper.  He moved to Baltimore, Maryland when he was 3, moved to Westminster, Maryland when he was 7, the outskirts of Philadelphia when he was 10, Santa Cruz, California when he was 13, Malibu when he was 18, Hawaii when he was 20.  Back to Santa Cruz when he was 20, back to Hawaii when he was 27, Atwater, California when he was 29, and to Turlock when he was 30.  

15.  I was born in Modesto, lived in Turlock until 18, Santa Cruz until 22, Hawaii until 24, Atwater until 25, and now reside in Turlock (1 mile from my parents.)

16.  Travis can do a little bit of everything.  He builds furniture for the house, he gardens, he brews beer, he surfs, he free-dives, he scuba dives, he use to off-road mountain bike (when we lived in the mountains of Santa Cruz), he road bikes at break-neck speed, he has done sprint course triathlons, 1/2 marathon, and short races (5K and 10Ks).  

17.  I was on the local swim team as a child and won  my share of ribbons for the backstroke.  I also danced from the age of 5 until 12.  I played soccer from 8 until 18.  Thanks to dance, I was always told I was a graceful sprinter.

18. Travis wanted to get married on 6.12.04 because it's divisible by 2 and 3, plus 6 is 1/2 of 12 (welcome to my world with a math genius who sees beauty in numbers).  Unfortunately, that weekend was already booked so we had to settle on 6.19.04.  Nothing mathematical about that.

19.  We feel in love with the house we bought because of the ginormous backyard which is perfect for our dogs.

20.  I chose UCSC for school because I couldn't decide if I wanted to live in the mountains or by the ocean, so I settled for the campus in the redwoods by the ocean.

21. I always sleep on the bedside closest to the bathroom, even if it means we switch sides when we're not at home (stupid small bladder.)

22.  I love shoes.  It has been a weakness of mine since high school, which expanded when my close friend worked at a shoe store and gave me her discount whenever I wanted it ;)

23.  Travis' best friend Chuck used Travis' ID for 3 years to get into the bars in SC.  He was even gutsy enough to use it while standing directly in front or behind Travis in line.  He was never questioned about it- they are that similar looking. 

24.  My dream job is to be a children's photographer.  

25.  Travis' dream job is to run a vineyard.

26.  I want to write a book before I die.

27.  Travis wants to get a Ph.D. in mathematics before he dies. 

28.  Travis wants to see Rome, I want to see Ireland and Sweden.

29.  Our next vacation is going to be a cruise to and around Alaska.  Don't know when that will happen, but it's at the top of the list.

30.  My favorite fruit is white nectarine.  Travis' is fresh red grapes.

31.  I despise flies and minivans.

32.  Travis had three pair of Hammer pants in high school.  And it was cool.

33.  I learned how to change a radiator, the oil, and the tires of my car before I earned my drivers license (Dad's rule.)

34.  Travis holds a black belt in karate.

35.  I was the tallest girl in my class from kindergarten until at least seventh grade.  

36.  Growing up, everyone thought I was the older sister, when in fact I was the younger.

37.  Travis can throw pizza and still will if I bug him enough.

38.  My favorite color fluctuates between blue, green, and deep red.

39.  Travis' favorite color is ocean blue- of course.

40.  I taught Travis the joy of running.

41.  Travis taught me the joy of wine.

42.  My parents, Travis' parents, Travis and I take regular wine tasting trips together.  

43.  Our parents hang out together when they're in the mountains, whether or not we're there.

44.  Travis and his father catch all the red meat and fish we eat.  

45.  I want Travis to call his home-brew "Sum Beer."  Get it?!  How perfect.  "Honey, I'm going to the store for Sum Beer."  I love it!!!

46.  Travis gets my sense of humor and loves me anyways.  He even laughs sometimes.  Bless his heart.

47.  The first bouquet of flowers Travis ever got me consisted of four wooden tulips that he purchased while in Belgium.  He said, "These ones will never die." He has since given me a single rose here and again, but dislikes the idea of killing something to show love.  Instead, he planted me four rose bushes that will bloom over and over again.

48.  When my friend Sarah asked me if I bought/ate organic, I said I was a Localist. I think I created that term on the spot to explain how I prefer to buy from the local fruit stands and eat the meat and fish that Travis brings home than focus on organic labels.  That was a half truth. The other half of that truth is that being a Localist fits our wallets better.

49.  The first time Travis kissed me, I knew I would marry him and I was pissed.  I was only 19 and I wasn't looking to settle down.  9 years later, I was right and wrong.  We did marry, but we haven't really settled down.  Travis knew we were going to get married on our first date (a hike that we got lost on) when we argued about who's grandmother made better potato salad.  Come to find out they use the exact same recipe.  

50.  Travis proposed to me at my favorite beach in Kauai.  I was so surprised that I somehow left my shoes either at the beach or on the side of the road where our car was parked.  Those were great shoes and I miss them dearly.  It was a good trade, though. 

Don't you feel better knowing all that about us?  Glad I could help.  I now tag Jessica in Alaska, Hilary is SF, and Amanda in Turlock.  

Too Close for Comfort

We went up to my parents' cabin this weekend to redo the deck.  Things were going well when we left- my dad and his cousin were starting in on the stairs.  For some reason, we decided to go the long way home, through Oakdale, and that decision almost cost us our lives-or at least the car.  As we were coming down the mountain, we saw a fire cloud from about 10 miles out and it looked like it was off the highway (mind you, this is HWY 108- one lane each way on curvy roads), so we didn't think to much of it.

As we got closer and closer I said, "I hope we get through before they close the road."  

 What a mistake.  We got through AS they were closing the road and we should not have been allowed through.  The cops were racing up the mountain to close the road, but apparently they thought we could make it though before it hit the road.  WRONG.  All of a sudden, fire was AT the road.  The car got hot and the smoke completely overcame the car.  There was ZERO visibility and I could barely make out the double yellow line in the center of the road.  Just as I found it, we found the car in front of us, stopped, and we almost hit them.  The smoke was so thick I could barely see the front end of the car.

The flames on the side of the road were about a foot high and behind them, they were 5-6 feet high (this according to Travis- I was staring, white-knuckled, at the yellow line- trying to stare at it, that is.)  My thoughts as the driver were to stop and wait for the smoke to clear, but my insticts as a human said get out of the car and RUN.  I was sure the flames were going to over take the car in a split second.  As I sat there praying for safety, the car in front of me edged forward and I continued to ride his bumper, not caring if I hit him, I just wanted to get out of the situation we were in.  We all pushed through and all of a sudden, we were delivered back into blue sky.

It was so scary I pulled over at the first opportunity to calm my heart down.

It was by far the scariest thing I've ever encountered, and I pray I will never experience that feeling again.  I don't know how firefighters do it, but I am so thankful that they do.  Please send up a prayer for all firefighters risking their lives to save ours.